The first. Both in a while and of many.

It has been nearly three months since my last post.

I’m sure that all of my “regular” readers have long since found other, more consistent (if not more interesting) and relevant blogs and websites to frequent. I’m sure that the online community has all but given up on my cyber-existence. Despite this, my real-life existence has been pretty happening, as far as real-life existences go. But, first things first.

After such a significant hiatus (after all, three months on the internet is like an eternity anywhere else), you may be wondering what spurred my triumphant return. Today, I had a meeting scheduled with my graduate school adviser, for whom I am also the “graduate assistant” – which is a fancy term to say that I do a lot of stuff for him and, in return, they help me pay for school. Regardless, as part of my duties, I have been doing some social networking on a site called Ning, and I needed to find out if one could and how to feed in an existing blog. This, being the only blog I currently have, was the one I used to “test” my RSS theories, so to speak. As a result, this blog has been successfully fed into my Ning profile page (yay me!).

This, however, did not prompt me to post again. Today, at the meeting I mentioned earlier, he happened to comment that he had read my blog and that it was “sad.”

(Not “sad” as in pathetic, but “sad” as in not happy. At least, that was my assumption…)

This was of great concern to me.

Yes, many of the posts… well, ok, almost all of the posts that make up this blog are more “sad” and contemplative in nature, I think they are only reflective of the very unsettled feelings and excess emotions with which I was left at that very transitional time in my life. That said, I do not want to give the fine people on the internet the impression that: a) My life is generally sad; b) That I am actually an angsty teenager trapped in a quasi-adult life and incapable of writing about anything except for said angst*; or c) That I am unhappy with the events of my life thus far.

*(I think the term is “scene” now. Some of you were thinking “emo,” but I should tell you – for your own good – that term is now “out” and the new “in” term for terminally sad teenagers with forlorn looks and eyeliner is “scene”.)

Yes, I am still single (which, I have quickly re-learned, is not such a terrible thing!). Yes, what was supposed to be my wedding date is quickly approaching (you should all say nice things to me on October 3rd). Yes, I have a wedding dress hanging in my closet right now and my biggest goal this week is to sell my engagement ring (yeah, I kept it). Regardless of these and a ton of other things I could be dissatisfied with, I have been granted the gift of starting over. I get to make it up all over again and see what happens. I consider myself truly blessed to have experienced all of the things I have experienced, to have learned the lessons that I have learned, and to have the opportunities that I have in front of me.

The weekend that was originally all booked up with a wedding, I am leaving for the Dominican Republic to do exciting and valuable work. I am nervous, yes, but thrilled beyond belief. I am finishing my Master’s degree (finally!) and have been given the opportunity to be a graduate assistant. I will return from my trip just in time to spend Christmas with my family (all of whom I am coming to realize are far more amazing than I ever believed). And after that it’s entirely up to me. I have no idea where I will live when I return (signed over my lease to another person), where I will work, or what I will choose to do. Everything is new and fresh and I must say, I am enjoying it.

I am happy.  😀


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